It has many names. Domestic Violence. Spousal Abuse. Relationship Violence. We read about it all the time in the papers, hear about it on the news and through Community Public Service announcements. Some of us have even been victims of violence in our own relationships. It is portrayed primarily as an issue affecting relationships between married couples, couples with children in common-as an adult-specific issue.

Unfortunately, this just isn't the case, and it's time to wake up. It's an issue that's affecting our teenagers-our children. In fact, according to recent studies it's happening to an estimated 1 out of 5 teens involved in dating relationships. Furthermore, in a recent poll of parents with teens, an alarming 81% weren't even aware that teen dating violence exsisted! Somehow, we've managed to deny the reality. Violence in relationships is occurring, and it has no respect for age boundaries.

How could we not have known? We talk to our kids, right? We try to inform them about all the things that can harm them in this world. We tell them not to smoke, drink, do drugs; talk to them about sex and relationships and honesty and integrity and keep them in school. We think we have open lines of communication...But dating violence? Not our kids. No way. Right? Well, at a 1 out of 5 ratio, it's definitely happening to someone's kids.

So why is it happening? Well, there's peer pressure. Relationship pressure. There's jealousy-often confused for "love" at this young age. There's a need to please, to fit in. There's embarrassment and fear. There's that problem that teenagers have with so many issues-they don't know who to talk to, that they can feel safe talking to-that they can trust. There's confusion as to roles, these days more and more-as kids often have only one parent, and no role model to show them role responsibilities and how people in healthy relationships are supposed to interract with each other. There are so many things. So many reasons why our kids might just allow someone to mistreat them, just a little at first-until things are quite out of control and the unthinkable happens.

It's time that this issue was brought out into the light-and our kids learn that they don't have to be afraid, or embarrassed. That they learn what love is supposed to feel like-and what isn't love. That they are worthy of healthy and happy relationships, no matter how they grew up or what their friends think. And if their friends are caught up in these types of relationships-let's help them to help their friends. What they learn about relationships now will carry with them for the rest of their lives.